Hollywood Riot

Diablo Cody couldn’t have written a snappier sequel to Julia Roberts’ classic sex-to-success movie, “Pretty Woman.” Get hip to this: An aspiring singer/call-girl screws a big wig politician, he gets caught and resigns, she takes advantage of the situation and pockets a cool (and legal) $1 million paycheck to take it all off in Hustler. No intercourse involved! Let’s give this story a working title. “Pretty Woman 2: The Governor’s Balls” works for us. Nothing high concept about that - it’s reality.

This past week, kinda-hot-in-a-hooker-way Ashley Dupree made headlines by jacking NY Governor Eliot Spitzer off (she probably did much more than that, considering her reported $1,000 per hour price tag). In case you aren’t aware, former Attorney General Spitzer is renowned for his crackdown on prostitution. In this day and age, we must suspect anyone who crusades for “moral” issues such as busting up prostitution rings (Spitzer) or condemning gay rights (who can forget the foot-tapping bathroom perv Senator Larry Craig?). Within some people, hypocrisy knows no bounds. For the most part, humans living under similar moral codes practice what they (normally don’t) preach. They live their lives and let others do the same, for the most part. So how do people like Governor Spitzer and Sen. Craig earn the position to preach and legislate morality? After their scandals are exposed, we have a difficult time putting ourselves in their shoes. As messed up as it may seem, it’s easier to dissect the mental reasoning of a fundamentalist suicide bomber. And trust us, that’s no walk in the park. Those “maniacs” are seeking, in an erroneous and heinous fashion, some kind of truth and empowerment. They certainly don’t believe they are sacrificing their lives for a lie. Living a known lie is a very damning and destructive thing. Believing that a lie is the truth because you were raised or coerced to that end is another matter altogether. Covering up a lie (and yourself) to such an extent that others suffer as a result is just pointless and rude. Prostitutes rot in jail while the man who worked to put them there is paying other girls for the same illegal service. What exactly was he hoping to accomplish? Perhaps he figured that if all the hookers were in jail, he wouldn’t be tempted to purchase them anymore. That makes zero sense to anyone not in his position. In his mind, Eliot Spitzer was taking the “high road of justification” by prosecuting prostitutes, rather than admitting he has fetishes that his wife would find repulsive. That’s his sexual instinct taking over, as it was designed to do. As the sexual instinct of any lonely man might drive them to forego the “law” and experience the World’s Oldest Profession™, our society punishes and tries to control his freedom of mind. All in all, the Governor’s offenses are hardly unique. What defines Spitzer’s moral crime is the fact that, while indulging in illegal sexual behavior, he was actively prosecuting people for the same “crimes.”

And that’s the point.

These men who, in every respect, have dedicated their lives to battling certain “immoral temptations” are just as prone to the intoxicating power of said temptation. Why? Because certain temptations are instinctual. In this case, both Spitzer and Craig’s political careers centered around the legislation of sexual instinct. Good luck. In our opinion, there are certain aspects of humanity that do not belong in the domain of government legislation. We have sides to us that are better managed by the individual then controlled by the state. Freedom of your mind is the most important. This declaration may seem obvious, but read it again. Freedom of your mind. This includes free speech and freedom of religion which, as we learned from the Founders, is a must-have for any up and coming enlightened society. Freedom of the mind is more of an all-encompassing concept, as it considers our personal moral compass. “Is paying for sex illegal?” Except for a few counties in Nevada, Yes. “So, it must be illegal to watch other people get paid to have sex, right?” No, it’s called pornography and happens to fall under the Free Speech thing. True freedom of the mind encourages both a resolve to create and live by your own moral standards and an appreciation of the reality that others can and will do the same. (FYI, porn is legal because they are performing/selling an “act”. Porn offers a middle man between your dollar and your hormones and the Gov’t enjoys plenty of tax revenue out of the deal. Prostitution is illegal because selling sex directly to the consumer is deemed morally wrong, not to mention non-taxable. And we all know there’s nothing more immoral than that!)

It’s an unfortunate truth that many people struggle with their instincts. We see modern humanity as being detached from its’ origins, and it seems easier to find validation for this unnatural strife if your peers are going through the same ordeal. This is a suppression of instinct and causes such a violent reaction in the psyche that the individual is compelled, sometimes very strongly, to change others to fit his mold. Our natural instinct directs us to either fit in or move away from situations. Without that instinct managing our emotions, hubris takes over. Power is sought and with that power comes an attempt to limit choices and take away our freedom of the mind. By circumstance, these organizations grow and attract followers. They get out and vote, becoming a louder voice which convinces others to join the movement. As soon as their numbers count for something, the Larry Craigs and Eliot Spitzers slime their way into top spots by earnestly promising to fight whatever freedom of the mind that the group is against. Doesn’t matter what the cause is- his convictions remain shallow and, as we often see, his actions become hypocritical. The contentious issue represents an opportunity to gain power and feel better about other life choices. Then, from time to time, they get snared up in their own lies and laws. Spitzer is a coward because he made a name for himself by attacking others, instead of battling his own perceived demons. In reality, Eliot Spitzer should have campaigned for the legalization, and unionization, of sex workers. He could have eliminated a black market, lessened the transmission of STD’s, and assuaged drug abuse and addiction… in effect helping the girls he was spending so much time and money on. But he didn’t. He made a different, absurd, choice. Yet, what if that choice was irrelevant to begin with? In an ideal world, Larry Craig never ruined his wife’s life because he had learned to be OK with his own identity early on. Larry’s children, who owe all of existence to their father’s fear, might see it differently. They probably see their father as a fighter. Well, they’re right, he is! He fights everyone but himself. He’s scared of looking within, so he looks outwards and struggles eternally.

The secret to successfully legislating morality is to pick your battles. The problem for modern legislators is that all the biggies were “resolved” long before any system of law was implemented. Murder is wrong, for instance. Nature helped out by giving us the instinct to realize this. Murder uses up a lot of energy and takes away a lot of potential from a small group. As populations grow, murder uses up less energy and takes away less potential, yet we view the act no differently. Let people decide on their own! Intelligence and emotion probably evolved hand in hand, and we appear to be born with a built in moral code to manage our emotions. Children instinctively know that it’s wrong to push someone over in a chair, but if an adult in power orders them to do it their moral resolve crumbles. Nobody’s morals are absolute. We are all subject to the whims of fate and opportunity. Most people wouldn’t rob a bank, but most would keep a load of found money. Larry Craig and Eliot Spitzer have made mistakes, but their downfall came as a direct result of an illogical system that they both supported. Of course the big winner out of this, ironically, is Spitzer’s singing hooker, Ashley Dupree. The musically inclined woman of the night is taking what life has to offer and, hopefully, seeking a better reality for herself. After all the talk of moral fortitude, that’s probably the way this tale is supposed to end.

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