Hollywood Riot

I don’t know why it still surprises me when government regulating agencies fail to do their jobs properly, but it does. Maybe I’m naive, a dreamer, an idiot… I’m not sure. Whatever it is that keeps me believing is probably the same thing that causes all of you to put your trust — and lives — in the hands of incompetent, greedy, sell-out morons like the FAA, FDA, USDA, EPA, and all those other useless acronyms.

We now know Southwest has been flying unsafe planes for over a year now. “The documents obtained by CNN allege that some management officials at the FAA, the agency responsible for commercial air safety, knew the planes were flying “unsafely” and did nothing about it.”

Were you on one of those flights? I think you deserve a refund (or at least a button like the one above).

I mean, why are we paying these guys our hard-earned money to protect us if all they’re doing is taking bribes from airlines, drug companies, manufacturers, China, Big Oil, slaughterhouses, etc. and turning a blind eye to problems that are (or could be) killing us? We pay them to do a job and they’re not doing it.

“You’re Fired” comes to mind.

These are the guys who tell us (often with their fingers crossed behind their backs) that our food is safe to eat, our air is safe to breathe, our water is safe to drink, our drugs are safe to take, and our planes are safe to fly. I don’t believe any of them anymore. And it’s obvious we can’t leave it up to the owners, operators, growers, suppliers, mechanics, or distributors to keep us safe. Apparently they’re also just in it for a buck. Nobody seems to care about anything else but the bottom line anymore. And the bottom line is dropping faster than Lindsay Lohan’s panties. So who do we rely on?

I think it might be time to call on some superheroes.

Superman, if you can hear me, we need your help. No one has a freaking clue what’s going on down here. The Superhero Regulating Agency (SRA) has assured me that kryptonite is now safe to handle, so please, for the love of Lois, get your caped ass back here pronto. And bring some of those crystals.

This place is falling apart.

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