Hollywood Riot

What is with these Disney actors? Why do they all turn out to be so slutty? First there was Britney and Christina Aguilera. Then, following all-too closely in her sister’s footsteps, there was pregnant 16-year old Jamie Lynn Spears.

But Hannah Montana!? Is nothing sacred?

I guess little Miley Cyrus is 15 years old after all - she may already have breasts. I don’t know — I try not to look at the breasts of 15 year old girls. But apparently I’m the only one. Vanity Fair’s website crashed yesterday because of all the celebrity-crazed voyeurs attempting to ogle the 15 year-old’s bare back. To be fair, with all that make-up on, she probably looked at least 16. Ewww. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

What exactly is DISNEY teaching these kids? I thought Disney World and the Disney Channel were family deals. Call me prude, but I think young teenage girls should be wearing shirts. We make Girls Gone Wild stars wait until they’re 18 — why do Disney stars get to take their clothes off at 15?

Some might say a loss of innocence is one of the many costs of teen celebrity. You may think these youngster’s parents should protect them from public humiliation. You might even wonder if Annie Leibovitz has a thing for naked girls. All of these are valid points. But, I’m also starting to wonder what’s happened to Mickey Mouse-management…

Is Mickey really a sleazy street-corner pimp who wanders Main Street U.S.A looking for unassuming virgins to turn multi-media tricks? Does he force young celebrities to “show a little skin” in order to make a few extra bucks? Has his addiction to cheese driven him so mad he’s willing to throw even his youngest stars to the wolves? Was Mickey Mouse the inspiration for ‘Taxi Driver’?

We decided to take a look backstage and see what’s been going on since Walt died. Sorry, Walt, but your “small world” has got some big problems… your main mouse be big pimpin.

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