Hollywood Riot

OK, it’s official- TIME and CNN have done lost their minds. Before Dick Cheney could even begin to imagine a way to take advantage of his evil weather experiment the cyclone in Myanmar, these two wacko news outlets roll with a whopper of a headline:

htt

Whoa! What the hell? The survivors are lucky the brutal junta controlling their nation is finally starting to let aid workers in. Nobody wants to invade you, Myanmar, trust us. Don’t listen to TIME or CNN. Let those planes in!!

To TIME and CNN: shut the hell up. Who asked you, Dick Cheney? Seriously, cover the news and report it and go home. Your airy suggestion to invade Myanmar is ridiculously infuriating. The U.S. spent $5 million per day as our military helped the tsunami victims a few years back, which really improved the situation. That relatively paltry figure doesn’t even come close to how much we’re spending on gasoline consumption alone in Iraq each day, so invading a country is neither easy nor cheap. Like we did in Bosnia and elsewhere, the U.S. and International Red Cross should just ignore the junta and air drop shipments of food and aid in. Even if half of it is confiscated by the military, it would provide some relief while a better resolution is worked out.

If we send the rest of our Marines storming in, that messed up Myanmar government will prop up their poor civilians with fake guns and we’ll end up shooting the very people we are trying to help. That will lead to some other radical group (The Myanmar Militia or Burmese Roaring Tigers or whatever) to spring up and start attacking the invaders (U.S.). What are we left with? Another un-winnable war in some foreign land.

Of course, this all changes the moment someone discovers oil there. Then, naturally, we invade the shit out of Myanmar. And if that happens, my theories on Dick Cheney’s weather machine will gain some serious traction.

Share the Good Times at Hollywood Riot