Hollywood Riot

Many people find it hard to believe that we’ve explored space more thoroughly than the deepest depths of our oceans, but it’s true. And there’s a pretty good reason for that (besides the fact the water pressure down there will snap you like a twig). Everything down there is so damn ugly. Ugly with a capital F.

Have you ever seen photos of deep-sea creatures? Stephen King couldn’t imagine scarier-looking life forms. For real… check it out. Here are a few bottom dwellers I’d rather not ever encounter. Ever. The last two even bear an uncanny resemblance to celebrities…

The Rattail. No, not that hideous looking strand of hair that used to hang down your brother’s back in the 80’s. Although that was ugly, the rattail fish is even worse. How’d you like to run into this thing in the swimming pool?

The Sabre Tooth. Guess what? Sabre Tooths are not extinct. They just live miles below the surface. And they have fluorescent blue eyeballs now.

Alien Fish. I don’t know if that’s this thing’s real name, but it’s fitting don’t you think? Original, no. Fitting, yes.

Cucumber Fish. Looks a little like Rocky from that Cher movie ‘Mask’. Remember that movie? These guys never see the light of day, and I bet Cher and her biker boyfriend are pissed about it.

Tentacle Fish. Hmmm. Delightful. What’s all that crap coming out of its body? Looks like Amy Winehouse after a night out with Pete Doherty. Like I said, it’s not pretty.