Hollywood Riot

If I was going to see The Dark Knight premiere later tonight, which I am not, the first thing I notice when I get into line is how cool everybody is. That means I am cool, by proxy. They smell great, too. I feel good as a pay $122 for a large popcorn and a small box of Nerds. Three other stoned movie patrons in line agree with my choice of Nerds and they each buy a small box, too. Thankfully, my new Nerd “friends” and I find the correct number of seats right in the middle of the theater - rock star parking! Once again I notice how, even at 2:45AM, this Batman-infused audience is downright suave.

Sexy. All of us.

The lights go down. I feel those familiar goosebumps running up my arm. My limbs are excited. All nine of them. A woman behind us says “I hear Heath Ledger is amazing.” I quickly turn and look back at her, Nerds flying everywhere, and shout “Lady, you have no idea!”

The Joker has his grip on me already. My friends cheer. Somebody hands me a nacho.

And for the next two hours, and probably for the rest of my natural life (and I say ‘natural life’ because after seeing this film I now believe in an almighty God and the heaven above, it’s just that good), I will never look at another movie the same way.

Hollywood Riot’s Never Before Seen Pre-Review of The Dark Knight gives it the much-coveted Best Film of the Century platinum statuette. If that doesn’t call for IMAX, nothing does and that company is doomed. You won’t be disappointed. I sure won’t be! Whenever I go.

Probably some point next week. Who knows, I still haven’t seen Hancock. I heard it was a’ight.

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