Hollywood Riot

What’s got six legs, spots, and “Sign of the Apocalypse” written all over it? This damned fawn.

Veterinarians agree that the fawn is not shitting out another fawn, despite that being exactly what this looks like. No, no, there’s a much more scientific explanation behind it: Jesus is soon to reappear on Earth. Hot magma will pour from every kitchen faucet in America. Bats will grow to ten times their normal size, becoming man-like crime fighters in the process. The Mexican Taco will go extinct, and along with it the chihuahua. Dick Cheney will retreat to the newly constructed Halliburton Moon Base 1, leaving behind his wife to be devoured by bears that he had previously purchased for that same purpose.

Make no mistake. This six-legged fawn… this Bambi-X… this mutant deer from Hell. It’s only the beginning.

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