Hollywood Riot

Um, no. Most certainly - unequivocally - no. If I had done, essentially, what AIG and the lot have done (gambled my money away on ill-conceived bets promising hyped, but uncertain rewards) I would no sooner be getting a “bailout” from the government than I would be able to listen to Sarah Palin talk without wanting to stab a fork into my eyeball. If I lost my shirt at the blackjack table, then asked the pit boss for a “bailout,” I’d be laughed all the way out of town. Or beat up. One of the two.

I don’t pretend to be an economist, read ‘The Economist’, or even know any economists (my friends are cooler than that), but this whole thing stinks. Sure, I barely understand it, but I’m smart enough to know when something isn’t right. And this isn’t right.

Freddie Mae and Fannie Mac CEO’s Daniel Mudd and Richard Syron, respectively, were paid $9.2 million and $15 million in their bailout. Wait… WTF? Since when do we reward absolute failure with a $15 million bonus? Oh right, since someone gave Secretary of the Treasury/Ultimate Douchebag Paulson supreme power over our tax money. I sure as hell didn’t authorize that. Did you?

Just read Section 8 of the proposed bailout package and you can see they’re up to no good. It reads, in its entirety…

Decisions by the Secretary pursuant to the authority of this Act are non-reviewable and committed to agency discretion, and may not be reviewed by any court of law or any administrative agency.

So they (being the the Executive Branch) can do whatever they want with this bailout package and no one, no where, has the authority to question it. Sounds like a Bush deal if I’ve ever heard one.

Naughty Section 8 is being called “a provision that evokes the Bush administration’s suspension of normal constitutional safeguards in its conduct of foreign policy and national security.”

And then we have ol’ Spanky Bernenke droning on about the “global economy collapsing” and so on and so forth, but not elaborating on any particular scenario. Bernenke, you old codger, what exactly does that mean? Would the rest of the world be as poor as we are? Would the Euro begin to resemble the dollar? What?

Kids, the moral of the lesson (and any good economic lesson in the U.S. it seems) is that it’s good to be a bank. And even better to be the CEO of a failed bank that lost a shitload of money and drove itself so far into the ground it was financing Satan’s inflated mortgage.

The only person I trust on this issue is Ron Paul. Why he isn’t in charge of this whole mess is beyond me. He’s certainly the only one who seems to know what he’s talking about… this bailout’s bullshit.

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